That sweet n sour baby smell...

Ever wondered where that baby smell comes from? ...  ME TOO!

I've had a few friends and strangers sniff Max expecting to smell something sweet and magical like unicorn farts.   Unfortunately they get a wiff of stale milk vomit mixed with baby sweat from his little ogre head!

I guess this is one of the problems you face when you have a reflux baby.  Don't get me wrong.  I clean him with a wipe or wet facewasher whenever I can but this isn't the same as changing him and bathing him.  If I did this everytime Max vomits he would be constantly in the bath! 

Can Max visit me in jail?

I confess... I'm a thief! 

Sometime in the last couple of weeks I have stolen a bunch of hair ties from Coles. Not intentionally of course... I had put them in the bottom of the stroller and forgot about them when I got to the checkout. 

So should I go back to Coles and pay for my goods or think of it as a gift for putting up with long cues at the checkout? 

People have been arrested for less...

I'd love to know what you've forgotten to pay for...

Handing over the reins.

Max spethe tnt the day in daycare while I did my course.  The first time I had to drop him off I was terrified! Especially after hearing horror stories  and not knowing who will be watching him...  or even if they would be watching him!  I had this vision of Max being in a corner with the other babies while the careers have smokes outside.   I was also a little worried for the carers because Max was a very sick baby and I thought he was going to give them as much hell as he'd given me in the first couple of weeks!

It has surprised me how much things can change.  From the first day he was there when I had to visit him at morning tea,  lunch and hurry back after class, to now where I mosy back at leisure and even sometimes give myself the luxury of going to the loo (mums will understand this) on the way. 

Today when I went to pick Max up he was getting a cuddle from one of the careers. It was such a comforting thing to see I didn't want to take him from her arms.  It's also amazing for me that he will be comfortable with other people looking after him. This will come in handy when I return to work. 

So.... the moral of the story: There may be bad childcares out there but I'm sure the majority are just as fantastic as the one today. 

I'm breaking up with you.

Dear Westfield.
I'm breaking up with you.

I've really enjoyed our time together over the years.  You've provided me with a cool relaxing space to zone out and let the world pass by.  For as long as I can remember my favorite thing to do would be strolling through your shopping Centre,  browsing the shops and occasionally making purchases.  The hum of the crowds would help drown out any thoughts or recently, it's helped keep my newborn sleep.  Unfortunately it's the same newborn who has helped with my decision not to visit you anymore if I can help it...  I spend enough money over the year and can't really fathom spending money on parking just so I can spend money on shops.  Since having Max things are a little more complicated.  You see babies have needs like feeding and changing Nappies.  Sick babies (with reflux) feed more and therfore need more nappy changes which pretty much takes up my 3 hours of free parking.   Last month I was at carindale I had spent $90... Not enough to get the parking validated and I don't know how long I was there for but it was $10 for me to get out of the car park! I felt as though I was being punished for genuinely shopping and enjoying the experience.   Ever since then I've hated going to carindale, I spend my time there feeling anxious that I need to get out in time.  I don't stop for a drink like I usually do and I avoid shops like they're evil time suckeres.

What once was one of my favorite past times has now become an expensive anxiety ridden venture which I'll have to give up. 

I'll miss you.
Xo

Clean as a whistle covered in dust

I love the feeling of walking into someone's home and it not being perfectly tidy.  It makes them seem all that more real to me... or really like me.  How on earth can some people have families,  careers and other interests and still keep their house tidy?!

Before Max I was not the neatest person... Since Max nothing has changed except the want for a cleaner environment.  I'm not any neater I just yearn for it.

Today we did a small spring clean.  I donated about 15 pairs of shoes which I hadn't worn on the last 3 years!  Seriously, who keeps stuff they don't use for 3 or more years!

I don't want my home to be spotless but I would love to know if you have any tips on how you keep your space tidy... or if you can't I'd like to hear that too so I know I'm not alone. 

Signing out from the cobweb covered dog haired bedroom of clutter. 

Alert alert

Paul (Max's dad)  is often checking Max when he's sleeping to make sure he's still breathing (ok ok, I do it too). It makes me wonder... How healthy is it to be this paranoid and how old will Max be when we stop?  I could imagine him at 18 with his girlfriend and us going into his room to check if he's breathing!

Seriously though... I'd like to know the stats of how often babies actuality just stop breathing. 

Working hard at not working

While my friends return to work tomorrow I can't help but to be a little jealous.  I miss my students and Co workers a fair bit... I also miss being able to work towards a goal and know what I'm doing and how to do it.  
Then I feel a little bad that I want to leave Max to go to work. 
So... My goal for the last 3 weeks of maternity leave is to try and enjoy as much Max time as possible!

Giant tooth

I told him about the dentist....

Babies don't read the books

I don't think anything anyone can say would prepare you for having your first baby...
We were given so much advice that it all mushed into one big jumble.... "swaddle the bottles and air dry the baby".

I think the baby really dictates what will be happening in your house.  With Max's reflux and colic there was a time when we slept him in the car capsule because it was the only place he would sleep for more than 30 mins!

I think the best advice I've recieved since having Max was: "remember that you are doing the best you can."
It's easy to get into quite negative thinking at 4am after no sleep since 3 Days earlier... I had started to doubt my abilities as a mother... remembering that advice has made the sleepless nights so much better! 

Poopy head

My favorite memory from Max's first week is when Paul (Max's dad) was changing his nappy at the shop.  Max was able to shoot his poo past the change table onto Paul's shirt!
You would think Paul learnt from that... I'm pretty sure it's happened at least another 2 times since!

Mexican

I seem to always say yes to loyalty cards... even though the is no chance that I'll ever really use them enough to get rewarded for anything. 
Plus... I always lose them!
What do you do with loyalty cards?
Is there an app for that?

Girly boy

I don't know how people can go their whole pregnancy without finding out the sex of their baby.  I am way way way way too impatient for that!
Another reason I wanted to find out what I was having was because I thought it would help me attach more to it.  At the time I was still in denial about the whole pregnancy thing and never really felt attached to the thing growing inside!

Odd sock day

Today is odd sock day. 
because anyone can have an odd day, is a light-hearted approach to reminding people that anyone, at any time, can have an odd day.

Read this part in the voice from CSI Svu:

"According to mental healthorganisation GROW: The stigma associated with mental illness is incredibly isolating. Attitudes cause people to disengage from their communities and deny symptoms or illness which then impacts on their decisions to seek help...

This is my story. "

(This is super difficult).  

  I had been on anti anxiety (depressant) tablets for 3 years to help with sleep... When I first was prescribed these I was certain I didn't need anti depressants because I hardly felt super sad and never wanted to harm myself. I'm so glad I did because my sleep had gone from 3 hours a night (from not being able to switch off my mind) to at least 7 hours.  

Since Max was born we had a terrible time with his colic and reflux. He wouldn't stay asleep for more than 30 mins. I went to a bunch of child Health nurses who seemed to tell me everything I was doing wrong. When one had berated me for an hour and told me to just let Max cry I had a mini breakdown in her office. She then told me I had PND and had to go straight to the hospital because she didn't think I could look after max... excuse my language but BULLSHIT! Anyway, it might have been the best thing to happen because I then went to my doctor who sent me to a psychologist who told me about some awesome classes for PND. And for the record: She also told me I was coping very well for what I had been through.  

I've been gong to these classes for post natal depression... learning a lot about anxiety and self talk.  When I first went I thought I shouldn't be there because again I never had thoughts to harm Max or myself. I thought that all the other mums there had it way worse. Since then I've become aware that there are many variations of depression and anxiety which people can experience... You don't have to be on the extreme end of the scale to want to get help.  

In my case it was just a massive sock (shock) from being a workaholic teacher and uni tutor to all of a sudden having a sick baby and no clue how to help him. 

  I'm hoping by sharing this more people will either gethelp or at least change their views on mental illness. Without the negative views of mental illness maybe more people would get help.

Anti dandruff

If he had more hair this would be a great advert for head and shoulders.

Dreaming

I think he's having a dream about some crazy woman who puts things on his head. 

Pacifier...

Did you know... research is now showing that pacifiers can reduce the chance of SIDS...

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=pacifier-greatly-reduces

I <3 fairy Floss

Brisbane had the exhibition recently where I bought a massive container of fairy Floss... I wonder how sugar effects breast milk.

Shine bright like a diamond...

Making invitations for a friend's hens night.... I had a few leftover diamantes.